Too Much Coffee?

Published: 21/07/2012

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Juan Valdez names his donkey after you 

 
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked 
 
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth 
 
You sleep with your eyes open 
 
You have to watch videos in fast-forward 
 
You lick your coffee pot clean 
 
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze 
 
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse 
 
You can type sixty words a minute with your feet 
 
You can jump-start your car without cables 
 
Your only sources of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low" 
 
You don't sweat, you percolate 
 
You've worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug 
 
You Know You Have Had Too Much Coffee When...

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee 
 
You've worn the finish off you coffee table 
 
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you 
 
Starbuck's owns the mortgage on your house 
 
You're so wired you pick up FM radio 
 
Your life's goal is to "amount to a hill of beans" 
 
Instant coffee takes too long 
 
You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can 
 
You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar" 
 
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position 
 
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup