Thoughts to Ponder

Published: 17/12/2009

   > Humor



1. A day without sunshine is like, night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

7. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.

8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

11. Remember half the people you know are below average.

12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

14. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

15. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

17. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

18. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

19. I intend to live forever - so far so good.

20. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

21. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

22. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

23. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

24. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

25. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

26. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

27. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

28. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

29. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

30. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

31. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

32. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener..

33. Two wrongs are only the beginning.

34. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

35. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

36. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

37. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

38. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.

39. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

40. Junk is something You've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.