More Oneliners

Published: 28/06/2011

   > Humor

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The school should pay me to skip class. Call it a "tuition refund", if you will.
A Pessimist is what an Optimist calls a Realist.
I was wondering where my boomerang had landed - and then it came to me.
There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.
Scars: Tattoos with better stories.
Loved are the ones who are told of their faults in private.
A:\ B:\ C:\ - Alphabet of a new generation.
Look after your wife; never mind yourself--she'll look after you.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Say nothing . . . often.
Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
Everything is always okay in the end. If it's not, it's not the end.
You non-conformists are all alike.
The extra mile isn't half as long as all those other miles.
A genius is someone who is screwed up in a useful way.
Life is really like a shower. One wrong turn and you're in hot water.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.